My Dear Justin..It has been three years since you left me…and it is as though the doctor just walked into the room and said the words that took me by complete shock, sucked the air out of my lungs and changed my life forever. As I am sitting here now, I have an overwhelming mix of emotions and not all of them are good. I have tried very hard to work through some of these feeling and emotion because that is what I usually try to do but I’m not doing a good job at it anymore. So I’m going to shout it very loud, I’m Mad, I’m Angry and I want Justice. You were robbed of your life at the hand of another and they allowed the world to think differently to protect them self. No more will I sit by quietly, hoping the truth will reveal itself because not only were you robbed, so was I, and so was Dad and so was Camden and so was Meghan and so was your grandparents, and so were your brother and sister and so were your Aunts and Uncles and so were your cousins and so were your extended family and so were your friends and so were your co-workers and I could continue to go on and on but the fact is we were all robbed. The facts are the facts and the facts tell the truth.


I have had so many people tell me I need to move forward and live and as much as you loved me you wouldn’t want me to live my life this way. I know you wouldn’t want this for me and would have never put this on me. I also know you would expect me to stand up for what is right, to protect my children as I’ve always done and to never back down until everyone knows the truth. That day is here and that day is now. I can still hear what I heard so clearly in my ears when I returned from the hospital, your voice saying, My mama will figure this out…and that I have and the world needs to know.

There are many that have done an injustice to you and I have tried very hard to pray for them hoping they would do what was right but I have come to believe they may never do what is right. One very important lesson I always taught you was, you have to be accountable for your actions, good or bad. I always made it very clear, My love is unconditional and I will always stand beside you, but you have to be accountable for your own actions. It is now time for others to be accountable for their actions and I do not intend to back down until they are.

I promise you this, my son, when I am able to push forward my goal will be to help other hurting mothers. I will set up a foundation to help the families of domestic crime victims. No mother should ever have to go through the pain and torture I have and to be pushed to see and hear the things I have in order to restore the dignity of their child because those in the position to do so doesn’t do their job. I vow to not let your death be in vein or without merit. Together we will heal the hurts of others with God’s guidance.

Justin, I am so very lost without you. With all that has taken place since you went to be with Jesus, my foundation has been shaken. Some days I struggle to exist, other days I put on my mask and make it through. Some days I asked God if this is what my life is going to be, why must I stay? And then I get that message in my soul, I have something special I need you to do but you’re not ready yet. So I wait and pray to prepare myself so I remain ready and open for God’s calling.

Today at 4:00 your baby boy, who now does not want to be called that because as he tells me, Nana I’m not a baby anymore, so I will say, Your handsome young son, who looks and acts just like you, wants to meet at Comcast today to release blue balloons for his daddy, because he knows it’s your favorite color and he knows you were Mr. Comcast. He misses you so much. I am so sad that the man he needs so desperately in his life right now was taken from him. I know I don’t have to tell you but very close to your “baby boy”

To my Baby Boy…your mama loves you with all her heart and she misses you every hour and every minute of every day. I want you to know, I have never let you down before and I refuse to start now. I will do whatever I have to do to keep my promise to you. Please continue to let me sense your presence; I need to know you are always close. I thank God each time He allows you to hold me... it is a beyond words experience….