I know you already know but I had to try and put words how I feel about my "Special Gift"
It's long getting to the point but bear with me, you know I have the "need" to express my feelings. I know you are smiling at me right now, along with the, "come on woman, pay attention" remark

God just never ceases to amaze me. So many days I feel so small and so insignificant. I know God loves me and that in itself is a privilege that I know I am not worthy of but am so deeply grateful for.

There are days though, I want to feel so special to Him. I cannot even try to comprehend the vastness of God and how He hears the prayers of each of His children and how he is able to answer to the needs of each of us. I am being very honest though, when I say; there are days, when I want to feel that God has complete focus on me; I know that He does and I know that He cares deeply about me and my broken heart but what I have needed is to feel that I am so special and precious to Him that He would reveal His love to me in a special way. In such a way that would bring some peace in my heart and offer some hope.

Today I realized He has been trying to show me for the last week.
Justin, I have so needed to hear your strong and unwavering advice, your unfailing encouragement, your loving and sometimes funny compliments and your tough and stoic pushes when I would allow myself to pull away and shut down when life wasn’t so nice to me. You always knew God is number one to me but I was ever grateful that He allowed you to be the man in the flesh that would be the one I could run to, to wipe my tears and get me going again.

I have prayed so many times for God to allow me to see you, to hear you and to feel you. I truly depended on you way more than I ever realized. I know in my heart it was because of the unconditional love we shared with each other and security we shared knowing we always had each other’s back. We each knew that when we spoke it was from the heart but we also didn’t hold back on the truth and when it was all said and done we could still walk away knowing the love remained the same and nothing could every break our bond, the bond between this mother and her son.

Dealing with all the lies, betrayals and loneliness I have found myself crying out to God and I think at times begging Him to allow you to visit me. The dance was wonderful and unforgettable but even though I knew it was you I needed more. I have needed to hear you speak to me. With all that has been going on and all the uncertainty of where life is headed for me, I catch myself saying, if Justin were just here to tell me what to do.

Well my feather from Heaven came today when I realized this new song I kept hearing was wrttien for me. I believe in my heart it is a message from you. God in His awesomeness has yet again amazed me in how he chose to answer my prayer.

I have been hearing this song on the radio but it wasn’t until this morning when I sat down to get ready and all was quite it came on again. This time when it did I began to remember how ironic it was that recently when I was by myself and quite, in the morning getting dressed, in the car or going to bed, this song came on. It caused me to really pay close attention to the words. When I did, I all I could do was praise Jesus for showing His love to me in such a beautiful way. I cried knowing that these would be words you would speak to me and I know God orchestrated all of this for me, not just so I would know He loves me but that I could feel His love for me.

Thank you Jesus, for allowing Justin to speak such needed words to me. Thank you Sidewalk Prophets, for being the vessel and allowing God to use you in such a meaningful way.

You can listen to the song Here

The Words I Would Say
Three in the morning, and I’m still awake
So I picked up a pen and a page
And I started writing just what I’d say
If we were face to face

I’d tell you just what you mean to me
Tell you these simple truths

CHORUS
Be strong in the Lord
And never give up hope
You’re gonna do great things
I already know
God’s got His hand on You
So don’t live life in fear
Forgive and forget
But don’t forget why you’re here
Take your time and pray
These are the words I would say

Last time we spoke you said you were hurting
And I felt your pain in my heart
I want to tell you that I keep on praying
That love will find you where you are
I know cause I’ve already been there
So please hear these simple truths

CHORUS

Say… from one simple life to another
I will say… come find peace in the Father
Be strong in the Lord
And never give up hope
You’re gonna do great things
I already know
God’s got His hand on You
So don’t live life in fear
Forgive and forget
But don’t forget why you’re here
Take your time and pray
And thank God for each day
His love will find a way
These are the words I would say